The rain is the only soothing thing in the night.
Maybe I’ll turn on the radio to the classical music
Or the sappy love songs that let me dream of
A sweeter, more beautiful world.
These nights when I cannot sleep, full of dread,
And regret but not the tears that could wash it
Away and let me begin again.
Way back in sophomore year, before I pulled
A Lucifer and fell from grace, pulled and Eve and
Took that forbidden knowledge, I dreamed of
Her, and my heart was full of wonders.
I stayed up all night, playing that song on repeat,
That made me feel the warmth of her, the light of her
On my heart even when though she wasn’t there,
Just conjuring the life I wanted to live with her.
What wonders the world and love held then!
What sweetness was there in the stars!
All these years later, the night is bitter as almonds,
And it’s hard to find sweetness in the life I’ve come to.
Scraps of the otherworld that use to come so easily.
I turn on the sappy love songs, trying to call that girl back,
To call back my own innocence, and sweetness of youth.
I hear that song that I made a hymn to her.
Finally I find some peace, and some sleep.