Cutting The Dark

Faith is the name my mother gave me.

Faith she always had. Always all she had.

She couldn’t keep the demons back.

She couldn’t keep him from betraying me.

Faith held her together and held me close.

But my heart was wrung out without deliverance.

He took something precious from me.

Something that’s beautiful for other people.

He took something precious from me.

And God looked the other way.

Out in the desert hills, cold in the night,

I look up at the sky, all those distant stars

Faith is the name my mother gave me

and  it’s in short supply, as I smoke my last ciggie.

Faith my mother always had. Always all she had.

Faith? Is it my name? Is it me? Is it in the sky?

I see a blue light come out of nowhere, up there,

sharp and warm, cutting the dark, spilling bloody light.

I feel something I can’t dream, or say with my tongue.

Demon or angel, it’s a passing in the night, a terrifying wonder.

And then it’s gone, a flashing spark blinking out,

and I am without a thought of what to wipe away.

Faith is the name my mother gave me. My name.

Out in these desert hills so cold in the night.

These lonely hills I could walk home or to Tartarus.

To the underworld or to the arms of my mother.

He took something precious from me, forever tainted.

But there’s a blue light in the sky and another world.

Faith is the name my mother gave me. She gave that to me.

Maybe God is indifferent, but mother is not, not ever at all.

I walk back home, to mother, to home, to walking on to paradise.

Maybe God will come through, and he’ll wipe away my tears.

But I know my mother will tonight.

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