I remember the first girl I kissed. I remember the time I had with her as being perfect, even holy. There was no darkness or fear in those two days, only peace and her love.
I still warm myself by that memory, and by her, in the worst parts of sleepless nights, shitty days, and just times when it seems like everything is hopeless and just empty.
I haven’t seen or heard from her in over ten years. Life separates people. Things change. People come and go and you turn your head and when you look back there gone forever.
I wonder if that time we had together, that moment of warmth in the cold grey of November, means anywhere near as much to her as does me, how does she see it, then and now?
I was lonely and angry and just in the darkest days of my life, and she was like an angel, a piece of some better world, some strange miraculous wonder. The last shining light for years.
Who was I to her? A cute guy? Someone she did care for? Does she ever think of me, now? Would I want to see her again? Ask her what it meant to her? Should I just keep my own fire lit?
I am to young to have these lonely old man thoughts, but here we are. So much time to fill, without my own family or even close friends, just me and the thoughts that fill my head.
Goodnight sweetheart, God bless you, I hope your life is wonderful, and full of love.
Part of me will always be in love with you, and will remain in that tourist town, in cold November.