I sit alone in my room, criss cross legs on the frameless mattress.
No music or sounds, save for the traffic and the murmurs in other apartments.
I close my eyes, and try to imagine being an angel whose feet never touched the ground.
I try to imagine all my atoms returning to the furnace a star, that then goes nova, and becomes another person a million light years away.
I don’t even dream of love now, for love and sex turn to lead that which is weightless; your heart.
And sex is just another way we abuse each other.
I can touch the sky when my heart is clean, when I return to before I knew faces or hurtful words.
I open my eyes, and I am among stars.
No one, and nothing, can touch me here.
“If Joan of Arc
Had a heart
Would she give it as a gift
To such as me
Who longs to see
How an angel ought to be?”
—-Maid of Orleans (Joan of Arc)
“I heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed. Life seems harsh, and cruel. Says he feels all alone in threatening world. Doctor says: “Treatment is simple. The great clown – Pagliacci – is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up.” Man bursts into tears. “But doctor…” he says “I am Pagliacci.” Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.”———-Rorschach
“Years go by, will I choke on my tears ’til, finally there is nothing left?”—–Silent All These Years
“So can you understand?
Why I want a daughter while I’m still young
I wanna hold her hand
And show her some beauty
Before all this damage is done”
“We watched our friends grow up together
And we saw them as they fell
Some of them fell into Heaven
And some of them fell into Hell”
———–Rainy Night In Soho
“But how can you bring back the dead, and try to tell them you’re sorry?”—You and Me (Less Than Zero)
“It tastes like ashes”—–Justine
“But my dreams are not as empty, as my conscience seems to be.”—Behind Blue Eyes
“Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing”—Macbeth