Tag Archives: abuse

Cutting The Dark

Faith is the name my mother gave me.

Faith she always had. Always all she had.

She couldn’t keep the demons back.

She couldn’t keep him from betraying me.

Faith held her together and held me close.

But my heart was wrung out without deliverance.

He took something precious from me.

Something that’s beautiful for other people.

He took something precious from me.

And God looked the other way.

Out in the desert hills, cold in the night,

I look up at the sky, all those distant stars

Faith is the name my mother gave me

and  it’s in short supply, as I smoke my last ciggie.

Faith my mother always had. Always all she had.

Faith? Is it my name? Is it me? Is it in the sky?

I see a blue light come out of nowhere, up there,

sharp and warm, cutting the dark, spilling bloody light.

I feel something I can’t dream, or say with my tongue.

Demon or angel, it’s a passing in the night, a terrifying wonder.

And then it’s gone, a flashing spark blinking out,

and I am without a thought of what to wipe away.

Faith is the name my mother gave me. My name.

Out in these desert hills so cold in the night.

These lonely hills I could walk home or to Tartarus.

To the underworld or to the arms of my mother.

He took something precious from me, forever tainted.

But there’s a blue light in the sky and another world.

Faith is the name my mother gave me. She gave that to me.

Maybe God is indifferent, but mother is not, not ever at all.

I walk back home, to mother, to home, to walking on to paradise.

Maybe God will come through, and he’ll wipe away my tears.

But I know my mother will tonight.

Stars Above

Stars above, outside a fogged window, the moon too.
Up in heaven, leaving me behind, the angels flew.
Can’t sleep, and I cannot leave this place, what I fear.
There’s always someplace else when you disappear.
Can a demon wear a face like a man? Yes, yes he can!
No sulfur smell. No horns or black eyes. just a man.
I can’t remember the face that brought me to worldly life.
I can’t remember her voice. I remember the Demon’s knife!
 He snores and grunts, like a dragon in his bed, and HER,
HER, who tricked me with a sweet. To him, to Satan, she defers.
She tries to be tender, but she won’t set me free from him.
She is caring, but the light in her soul she has let him dim.
 Stars above, stars someone else sees, far away, who loved me.
 I can sometimes see their faces, on the edge of moonlit sea.
I can sometimes touch the stars, and find my way home again.
But I am trapped and used by him, trapped by his selfish sin.