“Back home is a shithole, but it’s my shithole!” Gabby says.
“This place isn’t kind to me, I’ll go back to the winter I know”
A rainy Tuesday, not sure if winter or spring or nothing at all.
Where can you go? Where can you live? Where dreams grow?
Gabby smiles and I tell her a joke, make her smile for a moment.
I like to make her laugh, to chase away some shadows, sorrows.
Keep hoping the sky will open, and either God or a comet will come.
Either we put the brokenness behind us, or no more false hope tomorrows.
Gabby is a star, and I am star, but we’re suns once eclipsed by the moon.
Light casts shadows across home, unearthly light that lingers in prayers.
I drink my beer, I watch a game on one of the TVs, and enjoy her company.
Passing as she heads north, I south, having lost all patience with soothsayers.
It’s cool, it’s quiet, they’re all still asleep.
I have a bottle of red wine for us to share.
I have all day to spend here with you.
It’s been so long since I slept well, missing you.
The hours we’d fill with laughter and big plans
are quiet, and I’m buckling beneath their weight.
the right and true path, for us, for our broken race,
the heavens that waited for the brave and faithful,
the passions we’d use to burn down every fucking star.
Some much noise. So many people. So much crowding me.
I’ll wait until the sun falls away, I’ll wait until midnight.
I can’t face these things alone. I can’t be alone in this town.
we’re both dizzy headed from the wine.
She is a blushing bride, all in satin and lace,
and I know, that now she can never be mine.
when we were king and queen of the tawny plain.
Friends we did stay, and I’m so happy for her today.
But it’s all changing, our paths split now in twain.
a sentimental ballad comes on, and we sway together.
Sway like middle schoolers at our first dance, laughing,
and this is her last morning of innocence, Queen of the Heather.
and she goes to back her man, takes his hand, kisses him so.
I fell in love with her, but friendship is treasure enough
and I’m happy for her, and it’s time to part, to her life go.
full of a spell only the thankful and sorrowful can feel.
Morning light will be the weight of the world, without her at all,
but maybe it’s a new beginning for me too, giving fate a spin at the wheel.
A chill in my skin, even as I cook her
my special recipe chicken noodle soup.
It feel so much more real to me now,
not like the lush summers of youth.
chicken, my girlfriend loves the chicken,
and the fat egg noodles.
walking carefully to where she
lays on the couch.
my lover, my woman, still a dreamer
of fantastic worlds.
her favorite hoodie, nose all the way
in an old Mighty Maid comic, from long ago.
a purity and hope, a belief in a better world
and the holiness of our heroes.
and she’s get a piece of that girl inside her,
where I’m just bitter, waiting for the fall.
the couch, wrapped in the armor of blankets,
lost in dream worlds, fantastic places.
I watch her for a moment, just entranced by her,
her sweetness, her angelic light.
place the steaming hot soup on the coffee table.
I kiss her head, her cheek, her cute little nose.
We talk, about the high and perfect days past,
about what we plan to do, once married, on our own.
I go back to the kitchen to clean up, and see the sun coming,
and for a moment, for my lover, I believe in the light.
Sitting on a worn out couch outside her apartment, talking about life.
Red wine leads to red thoughts, of what comes when death finds us,
and what will be left of us as this world burns away sweetness for a laugh,
of what could last for all time.
Just something to soothe broken hearts, make us feel light and full of dreams.
Her man left her. I’m facing the loss of someone dear. The stars gave us no names.
We’re both lonely and raw and just trying to hold onto warmth as winter comes.
We get drunk. We always get drunk.
Both bottles of wine empty at my feet. Her rust colored hair bleeds
the death of sweetness, of hope, down my chest. Another wound.
Buzzed, full of dreams, way too horny, I watch the sky, counting her breathes
and counting the stars, and giving up on the tenderness of the moon.
Long summer day, spent in each other’s company.
Sit on the shore, sharing beers, and some more laughs.
My head against yours as the sun cedes to the stars.
All these years, all these troubles, all these crazy times.
So close to losing you once, to letting this little world burn.
But here we are now forever, here we are until the end.
You’ve got your man and you’ve got your kids.
I’ve got a place in your heart, and by your side too.
I’ve got my own little world, full of stars and the endless sky.
As the night falls I kiss your head, squeeze your shoulders.
The day is over, the night is long, and I must go my own way.
I know I’m always welcome here, here with you.
I dream of perverse heavens and enticing hells,
I dream of black clover and lost causes and infernal crusades.
The world goes on, and I lose myself in my broken mind.
I’ll always love you, sweetheart, but you have your own heaven.
But you’ll always stand at my side, always welcome me in.
Goodnight and may you ever be shining like the sun,
Goodnight, and may I find the way back to where it all began.
Goodnight, until morning and paradise comes.