Tag Archives: growing up

The Long Day’s Sun

The sun is fading away, though it’s still so humid here,

by the sea, that I feel I need gills to breathe, still so

sweltering, like being wrapped in a tight, wet, steamed blanket.

Ricardo and Mary and walking up, hand in hand, dripping wet,

finally leaving the water as it gets dark, almost if their were

merpeople long ago, in their first and better life.

Last hurrah before school, for me anyway, scrawny and awkward,

unsure of the future, high school, new school, everything shifting,

riding the bus and moving closer to the inevitable, to growing up.

Ricardo pulls Mary into his arms, squeezes her tight and kisses her,

and I look away, nauseous, uneasy watching them like this, wondering

what the big appeal of it all is.

We’re in Mary’s ancient and haphazard calico Ford Probe, driving in

the night, the city shining bright and a hazy golden glow by the highway,

some band I’ve never heard of that Mary loves playing. It is sad. Soothing.

Ricardo holds her right hand on the console while she steers with the left,

and they are talking and laughing, and even in the dark the headlights catch

a glint of the tiny and proud diamond on her engagement ring.

They are through with school. My angels. My protectors. My de-facto siblings.

Older and wiser, already been through the wars to show me the way, are leaving

for Seattle, for a life together, for a better jobs far away.

Mary and Ricardo have always been in love. They have always been there.

Mary used to hold me close to her breast, stroke my hair, sing me lullabies,

and Ricardo always had time to listen to my stories, kick a soccer ball, play with me.

High school is coming. They’re leaving. I feel alone, afraid of what I have to face.

The song changes, and the woman singing, mournful and quiet, sends shivers down

my spine and my arms, even as they radiate with the heat of the long day’s sun.

Mary raises up Ricardo’s hand, and kisses it, and he leans over and kisses her cheek.

Mary pulls into a fast food joint, and Ricardo runs in, coming out with a strawberry sundae.

He gives it to, ruffles my hair, gives me a smile, and then were on again into the night.

I eat my sundae, knowing like these good times, it will be gone too soon.

A Saturday Afternoon In July

We play video games, head to head racing, side by side in the cockpits.

It’s a Saturday Afternoon in July, we’re gone from high school, what now?

The arcade is bright and candy colored, and we’ve spent some time here,

but there’s a world out there, a dream out there, we need to chase it now.

She wins, kisses my cheek, and then it’s on to the next game, a screen adventure.

It’s a day like so many we’ve spent, but we are grown now, almost, almost.

We walk home hand in hand, as evening comes down, a lush and tender pink.

The breeze is gentle, and we might go somewhere else tomorrow, somewhere new.

A Change of Season

Mussy, short cut hair, and those bright blue eyes.

               Too large flannel, long sleeved shirt, dark colored tee.

               Fading denim jeans, and worn out Converse high tops.

               First of autumn, evening coming crisp as dry, dead leaves.

 

               My palms are sweaty, and I’m hot despite the cool air.

               The stars starting to bejewel the blood velvet of sunset.

               You smile, but don’t look at me, as I try to gather my nerve.

               My hands tremble, and the damp smell of leaves is sweet.

 

               I take your hand in mine, and squeeze. You sigh, turn to me.

               We face each other, eyes bright and clear and as open as the sky.

               I stroke your cheek, and you close your eyes, lean into my fingers.

               Leaves fall and the trees die back, but life is ever bright and warm.

 

               Unsure, I lean forward, our lips touching, and you kiss me back.

               My hand on your cheek, your fingers stroking my curly, wild hair.

               I am warm like I swallowed the sun, wrapped in eternal, divine light.

               The season has changed, light in the dark, as we walk hand in hand.

Coming Into The Light

I look at this photograph, hidden away, coming into the light.

               You Ellie, all of fifteen, hair still long, last name still Doremy.

               Smiling, you were absolutely free, and feeling angel wings grow.

               Invisible, but they would carry you, to the stars that were your home.

 

               Now, you and I heading close to forty, with a modest but sweet life.

               You play with the cat, which is amused, then indifferent, then hostile.

               You’re starting to show, our child coming from void into flesh and bone.

               You carry your scars well, but they’re there, still dimmed the starlight.

 

               That winter, that church party, we fell in love, fell into the sun, blameless.

               We were allowed to dance, adequately separated, but still holding on.

               You looked into my eyes, the angel unfurling, the wings carry us on high

               Though our feet we’re touching earth, we were carried to a better elsewhere.

 

               The world goes on, and the blood is shed, the dreams dimmed, the darkness come.

               We fall from innocence, take our bites of the apple, and learn our bare, sad shame.

               We are still sweet, still retain the light, can still sometimes touch heaven, still here.

               The child you carry, will be a glory and angel innocence, but become fallen like us.

 

               Outside, the snow falling, the stars not there to bear witness, you pulled me near.

               Our flashed and cold faces, our pale lips touched, a kiss clandestine and innocent.

               Our first kiss, and the dream began, and the moment that God gave us came here.

               One moment to lift us to on high, you wings carrying us, to were stars always shone.

 

              

              

Grocery Store II

The little grocery store on the end of the street,
my first job, my first place, looking for food to eat.
The celery and apples and the lean chicken breast,
the juice and milk and the candies I love the best.
On my own, making my way, it’s all on me this time.
I might be a little naughty, get beer you drink with lime.
Got a job at the school, showing little children the way.
Got a place I’m happy, and a lover with whom I want to stay.
My own money, my own cash, I pay for my food and walk back.
My life is sweet, my life is good, and with their love, nothing lacks.