Tag Archives: life goes on

The Long Day’s Sun

The sun is fading away, though it’s still so humid here,

by the sea, that I feel I need gills to breathe, still so

sweltering, like being wrapped in a tight, wet, steamed blanket.

Ricardo and Mary and walking up, hand in hand, dripping wet,

finally leaving the water as it gets dark, almost if their were

merpeople long ago, in their first and better life.

Last hurrah before school, for me anyway, scrawny and awkward,

unsure of the future, high school, new school, everything shifting,

riding the bus and moving closer to the inevitable, to growing up.

Ricardo pulls Mary into his arms, squeezes her tight and kisses her,

and I look away, nauseous, uneasy watching them like this, wondering

what the big appeal of it all is.

We’re in Mary’s ancient and haphazard calico Ford Probe, driving in

the night, the city shining bright and a hazy golden glow by the highway,

some band I’ve never heard of that Mary loves playing. It is sad. Soothing.

Ricardo holds her right hand on the console while she steers with the left,

and they are talking and laughing, and even in the dark the headlights catch

a glint of the tiny and proud diamond on her engagement ring.

They are through with school. My angels. My protectors. My de-facto siblings.

Older and wiser, already been through the wars to show me the way, are leaving

for Seattle, for a life together, for a better jobs far away.

Mary and Ricardo have always been in love. They have always been there.

Mary used to hold me close to her breast, stroke my hair, sing me lullabies,

and Ricardo always had time to listen to my stories, kick a soccer ball, play with me.

High school is coming. They’re leaving. I feel alone, afraid of what I have to face.

The song changes, and the woman singing, mournful and quiet, sends shivers down

my spine and my arms, even as they radiate with the heat of the long day’s sun.

Mary raises up Ricardo’s hand, and kisses it, and he leans over and kisses her cheek.

Mary pulls into a fast food joint, and Ricardo runs in, coming out with a strawberry sundae.

He gives it to, ruffles my hair, gives me a smile, and then were on again into the night.

I eat my sundae, knowing like these good times, it will be gone too soon.

Cherry Blossoms

The morning sky is as soft, tender and pink

as the cherry blossoms beginning to bloom,

the first of spring.

Riding on her new bike. A simple, pretty dress.

Will he see her? Will she smile for him, passing?

Will it be love?

She stops on the boardwalk, looks to the waves.

The beach is so quiet, so sacred, in the first light.

The war is over. The war is over.

She is free.

The Crown Is Clearer In The Dark

The party is too much noise.
I go outside with a bottle of red wine.
It’s cold and wind, end of September.
The stars a diadem for heaven.
The crown is clearer in the dark.
The crashing surf the bridal train.
I sit in the sand, drinking, singing.
An old love song from my youth.
Sappy and corny as all get out.
Still it’s a hymn to heaven,
worthy of a crowned head,
even on her wedding day.
A boy and girl, laughing,
no darkness in soft faces,
teenagers pure and perverse
as they splash in the waves
and hold hand, kiss, tickle
and run wild on a knifes edge.
I remember. I remember.
She was the sun I orbited,
The sun went nova.
I lay down, bottle empty,
watching those perilous stars
and singing that sappy song.
Hymns are songs of devotion,
glorying the seed of light,
that soothes and burns and inspires.
I hear a woman’s voice calling me.
Please come here to the night.
I will place this crown upon your head

Sway Dance

The lights are low, the mirror ball sparkles,
we’re both dizzy headed from the wine.
She is a blushing bride, all in satin and lace,
and I know, that now she can never be mine.
 Friends all our lives, and I foolishly fell for her,
when we were king and queen of the tawny plain.
Friends we did stay, and I’m so happy for her today.
But it’s all changing, our paths split now in twain.
 And, the end of the ceremony, deep into morning,
a sentimental ballad comes on, and we sway together.
Sway like middle schoolers at our first dance, laughing,
and this is her last morning of innocence, Queen of the Heather.
 The song ends, I bow, she curtseys, a count to his queen,
and she goes to back her man, takes his hand, kisses him so.
I fell in love with her, but friendship is treasure enough
and I’m happy for her, and it’s time to part, to her life go.
 A bottle of wine I drink from as I sit outside, the summer night
full of a spell only the thankful and sorrowful can feel.
Morning light will be the weight of the world, without her at all,
but maybe it’s a new beginning for me too, giving fate a spin at the wheel.

Two Sides of the Moment

I remember the first girl I kissed. I remember the time I had with her as being perfect, even holy. There was no darkness or fear in those two days, only peace and her love.

I still warm myself by that memory, and by her, in the worst parts of sleepless nights, shitty days, and just times when it seems like everything is hopeless and just empty.

I haven’t seen or heard from her in over ten years. Life separates people. Things change. People come and go and you turn your head and when you look back there gone forever.

I wonder if that time we had together, that moment of warmth in the cold grey of November, means anywhere near as much to her as does me, how does she see it, then and now?

I was lonely and angry and just in the darkest days of my life, and she was like an angel, a piece of some better world, some strange miraculous wonder. The last shining light for years.

Who was I to her? A cute guy? Someone she did care for? Does she ever think of me, now? Would I want to see her again? Ask her what it meant to her? Should I just keep my own fire lit?

I am to young to have these lonely old man thoughts, but here we are. So much time to fill, without my own family or even close friends, just me and the thoughts that fill my head.

Goodnight sweetheart, God bless you, I hope your life is wonderful, and full of love.

Part of me will always be in love with you, and will remain in that tourist town, in cold November.