I see her now, in my dreams, as the woman she is,
thin and lithe, with long red hair brighter than the sun.
I see myself as I was then, gaunt and callow, wisp of the wind,
madly in love with her, just like all the world, just like everyone.
Teenagers together, she an angel, me a chaos magician,
we fought the demons taking over, divinity and a mage.
High school was rife with darkness and the subterfuge,
and I fought with her, until Junior Year, now turn the page.
The chaos of my own tricks took me down, and I left her,
left the light, left all kindness, went over there to the other side.
Trying not to be weak, not lose, I lost myself to tricks and rage,
but her tears washed the sun, she was loving as heaven is wide.
So I see her now, in black jacket, faux fur lining, ear buds,
the singing of her own kind in the earbuds, still fighting.
And I’m back on her side, but afraid to call out, never be like it was.
But I love her, maybe I can holy again, this ship finally righting.
Look back, my angel, look back, maybe just a smile.
Maybe we can fight together again, side by side, brave.
I wish I could be the boy I was, who adored you like the sun,
I wish I could be the boy that didn’t become fear’s slave.
Look back, my angel, look back……….