Cara shivered in the dark lake, the very end of summer,
maybe already to cold to be out in the water, and with
the sun gone under, just a low, raw red on the horizon.
She tread water in the cold lake, not wanting to go back,
back to the lake house haunted by better, sweeter times,
to the troubled thoughts, troubled sleep, she always faced.
But finally, she swam back, leaving by even the fleeting peace,
of being alone, and not having to face anyone, and their endless
questions, endless assumptions, assuming they knew it all.
She emerged from the water, started to dry with her beach towel,
and it was now pitch black, the lake house lit with hazy gold light,
a beacon from another time, a time she could barely recall now.
Last night of their holiday home for the season, back to Walchula,
where all her friends had already left for college and careers, marriage
and all that adult stuff she still couldn’t put together, here at 23.
Cara went inside and her mother smiled at her, told her to get showered
and dressed so they could go to her Uncle’s for the end of summer family
get together. Cara smiled, did as she was told, dreading all of it.
Now dressed in white blouse with a bow, and knee length black skirt,
She waited on the front steps to go, wishing the she could defeat the
madness, the disorder and chaos in her mind, all the shit holding her back.
Always tired from fighting through the jungle of her thoughts, feeling as if
she was macheting her way through it eternally and never getting to the
other side, to the clearing, or the grasslands, were all was open under the sun.
The night was cool, the air still, as she waited for her mom and dad to come,
and for them to go to her Uncle’s, and to try and make it through, to have
a good time, and not feel all those eyes upon her, all those judging “Good People”.
For just a moment in the night, she could rest.